My family and I just returned from the Smokey Mountains. Gatlinburg was great as well as Pigeon Forge. Savannah had a great time at Dollywood and the heat and humidity wasn't quite so bad as in South MS. This year's vacation to the mountains was very much needed considering all my family has been through during the last four months. For the first time in a while, I had a complete mental break from all that has happened. I also had a chance to re-focus and charge my mental batteries. My time on the mountain was great but Friday morning we came home. Back in the valley again, back to work and back to the battles in my mind. It started yesterday. The feelings of hate the want for vengeance against those that took away my passion. Then I read this from Max Lucado's devotional, "Grace for the Moment."
"Wait for the Lord and He will make things right." Proverbs 20:22.
"Some of you are in the courtroom. The courtroom of complaint. Some of you are rehashing the same hurt every chance you get with anyone who will listen. For you, I have this question: Who made you God? I don't mean to be cocky, but why are you doing His work for him?" "Vengeance is Mine," God declared. 'I will repay.' (Heb. 1030)
Judgement is God's job. To assume oherwise is to assume God can't do it. Revenge is irreverent..... To forgive someone is to display reverence. Forgiveness is not saying the one who hurt you was right. Forgiveness is stating that God is faithful and He will do what is right."
Needless to say this hit home and hit hard. Believe or not while on our trip, I was able for the first time to pray that God would bless the ones involved in my termination. I was seeking to forgive them. When I returned home, I couldn't believe I had done that. The hurt had returned. Thinking ahead to August knowing I want be back in that classroom hurts me to my core. I quickly wanted them to hurt, wanted them to pay in a big way. But the above devotional reminded me that to forgive is to be free of these thoughts and feelings. This is where I am now tettering between forgiveness and wanting to enact my own vengeance. Many have prayed for me in the past. Without you no telling what I would have done in response to the injustice committed against me.
I ask for your prayers as I am facing some pretty bad demons. Each day I pray to Christ for strength and I know I'll get through this in time. But for now it's pretty bad being in the valley. Please remember me today as I will pray for you in your own valley.
On a side note, some have said my last blog was out of line and should have never been posted. To them I say, it may seem I am just grinding as axe. But to me it's about telling the truth. I get sick of folks just talking about such matters. Complaining about it and then doing nothing to change it. These matters must come to light in order to be destroyed. I will continue to reveal the sins of that ungodly district not for my own satisfaction but for the safety of our children. Anyone who want things to continue as usual in the Jones Co. School District really doesn't give a rip about our children. Shame on them!
"Wait for the Lord and He will make things right." Proverbs 20:22.
"Some of you are in the courtroom. The courtroom of complaint. Some of you are rehashing the same hurt every chance you get with anyone who will listen. For you, I have this question: Who made you God? I don't mean to be cocky, but why are you doing His work for him?" "Vengeance is Mine," God declared. 'I will repay.' (Heb. 1030)
Judgement is God's job. To assume oherwise is to assume God can't do it. Revenge is irreverent..... To forgive someone is to display reverence. Forgiveness is not saying the one who hurt you was right. Forgiveness is stating that God is faithful and He will do what is right."
Needless to say this hit home and hit hard. Believe or not while on our trip, I was able for the first time to pray that God would bless the ones involved in my termination. I was seeking to forgive them. When I returned home, I couldn't believe I had done that. The hurt had returned. Thinking ahead to August knowing I want be back in that classroom hurts me to my core. I quickly wanted them to hurt, wanted them to pay in a big way. But the above devotional reminded me that to forgive is to be free of these thoughts and feelings. This is where I am now tettering between forgiveness and wanting to enact my own vengeance. Many have prayed for me in the past. Without you no telling what I would have done in response to the injustice committed against me.
I ask for your prayers as I am facing some pretty bad demons. Each day I pray to Christ for strength and I know I'll get through this in time. But for now it's pretty bad being in the valley. Please remember me today as I will pray for you in your own valley.
On a side note, some have said my last blog was out of line and should have never been posted. To them I say, it may seem I am just grinding as axe. But to me it's about telling the truth. I get sick of folks just talking about such matters. Complaining about it and then doing nothing to change it. These matters must come to light in order to be destroyed. I will continue to reveal the sins of that ungodly district not for my own satisfaction but for the safety of our children. Anyone who want things to continue as usual in the Jones Co. School District really doesn't give a rip about our children. Shame on them!